company

After much thought I have decided that I would like a turtle to accompany me back to school next semester. Catherine and I have talked a lot about getting a fish and sharing it. As we have had those conversations in the past I had terrible flashbacks to when summer and I would catch little tadpole things down at the pond and be so excited, only to find them all dead the next morning. As I grew older and much wiser I upgraded to buying goldfish. And again I would find myself sorely disappointed when I would walk in the bathroom in the morning and find my sweet little friend floating belly side up. I remember the stench they would put out when I failed to clean the tank for a while. So, that is why I have abandoned the fish idea. I am getting a turtle.
As of right now, I am neglecting to study art history or health and wellness in order to search for where to get a turtle and how to take care of it.

Rest is soon to come.

I lay on my bed staring out the window. I'm supposed to be studying Spanish or Art history but my mind is wandering around somewhere in the near future. I turn two pages over and look out the window again. This isn't working, so I grab my Art History notes. I look at two trying my best to remember the facts I have written the day before. I stare out the window again and muse.
I love how finals cause me to stop a moment in the midst of chaos to think about deep theological issues, or just what I am doing with my life. In an attempt to escape my studies, the only place my mind finds refuge is a place swamped with thoughts all trying to get out at once. Maybe this isn't a place of refuge, but at least I am not buried in the "Aesthetic Attitude in Romanesque Art".
I read in a book a few days ago about enduring through times of dryness with the Lord. A place I feel I am in the middle of. The writer states "Seasons not only break the monotony of sameness, they are necessary to productivity. Nothing can live in unbroken sunshine...Night is as important as day; the sun must be followed by clouds and rain. Nonstop sunshine only creates a desert". How right he is. I must be in a season of some clouds. I'm not saying that days are bad and I am struggling horrible, but more that I am being challenged to pursue God more than I ever have before, and challenged in every aspect of my life (at least it feels that way). In times of feeling deserted I know is when I should press in even more so to the Love and Faithfulness of Jesus. In every second I spend with the Lord I am being moved more so into a state of desperation for Him. The days that go absent of our time together is felt in the very core of my being. I settle into a place of quietness to seek Him and hear or feel nothing. I am learning to press in and endure. The shadows prove the sunshine.

Absolutely

I've got sunshine...

It's raining, it's pouring...

And I want to go play in it!!!

Joy is happening

"Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees Lord I lay me down
Rid me of my self I belong to You
O Lead me, Lead me to Your cross"

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11

"My heart and flesh cry out, for You the LIVING God
Your spirit it water to my soul. I've tasted and I've seen
Come once again to me, I will drawn near to You, I will drawn near to You"

A Series of Fortunate Events.

Ladies and Gentlemen-

I was reminded today as I poked my cold broccoli around on my plate that good days and bad days are all in the head really. Well, all in the way you look at things.
let me give a background to what I am talking about-
I went to my 3-D Design class this afternoon and listened impatiently while people droned on about their projects. I finally presented mine and for the first time wasn't shot down about my idea. That is happy news. And I got an A on my project...which reminds me, I need to put pictures up of that soon. Anyway, I was preoccupied for the majority of that class with all the things I had to do or didn't do already that was supposed to be done. And also my advisor was dragging his feet about registering me for classes and made me miss my opportunity to take a specific one (Film Art and Theory), so needless to say I was little ticked, and left class early. that brings us back to the cold broccoli. I realized that it wasn't really that big a deal, and that it was all in my attitude as to if my day was 'bad' or 'good'. I decided that if I didn't get into that class that it would be ok, and I would just take my easy semester and be happy. As for all of the things that have to be done, I made phone calls, and made lists and found that there wasn't that much to do as long as I didn't mess around. I found that after that my thoughts changed dramatically and I wasn't feeling as bad any more (plus I had time with the Lord, and that always helps). I e-mailed my advisor and asked if we could meet about my plans for graduating. I don't want to come to the end and have one class that was overlooked and have to stay longer. So, a few hours later he e-mailed me back and said that he got me into the class that was closed before, and that we could meet soon. I am glad I didn't waste time being really upset about that whole class thing :0) yeah. plus I have come up with an awesome idea for my next 3-D project.

so next semester looks like-

History of Art
History of Ancient Art
Film Art and Theory
Studio Photography
Spanish Conversation
Racquetball...oh yeah.

My stomach growls because I haven't eaten breakfast.
The lady next to me smells like the thrift store and sweet candy.
I tap my fingers waiting for time to pass so I can go to the class I hate.
Confusion on different matters is seeping deep within, but the next few weeks hold hope.

bleh.

I need a break, like right now.