So, I have been thinking about what to write on here. just to let you know, usually I write a few things a week, but they don't make it because I don't finish them and then I delete it all. sorry. but I have given some more thought to this.
Dad talks a lot about different seasons and chapters in life, and I decided that if my chapters of life were to have titles the title of this chapter in my life would be "death".
That sounds a little morbid or something, but I don't think it is such a bad thing.
this is how my chapter begins:
Chapter 7- Death
What does it mean to die? what is death? what does death bring about? in pondering this, I found that for now, death brings life. without death, there is no life. That is a fact (as Nathan and David would say). I don't know that I am comfortable with the whole death concept yet, but I think I am on the right track. Within the past few days I have had to hand over something very precious to me and allow it to die. It is actually still dying as I type, and maybe will continue to do so for the next few days, weeks, months, years... I don't know! but that is all besides the point. the point is, in this death, there is life. I have yet to see what this life may be. but I am sure that it is there. therefor I have hope, and that is a good thing. I was listening to switchfoot in the car a few days ago and I was listening to the "learning to breathe" song and I found that it was very much relevant for where I am right now.
... I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way
That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
yeah, that sums it up for now. I am waiting expectantly on where this life may lie when all I feel is death around me. I am wondering what you do when you yourself haven't felt confirmation (from something the Lord has supposedly said) on what someone else has felt regarding your life. I still don't know about that. but I will certainly continue to pray about it.
This week has sucked big time. especially today. but you know what? that is ok. "The shadows prove the sun shines". (I really like switchfoot, they know what they're talking about)
That is all. you all can be praying for me. I need it.
Love!!!
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3 comments:
Suz, I love you. I'm so glad I got to spend time with you- that meant so much to me. You know we will be praying for you and would love to hear from you whenever you need to make a call. Thanks for your post- I've been waiting on it for a while. It definitely brought tears to my eyes. You are a very brave person.
I love you,
Laura
interestingly, corey and i had a conversation about death at new freedom last night. (good switchfoot quotes! by the way)
i told him that new things can't grow unless the old things die- completely. and when you give in and experience death completely, then you can experience life completely.
you've got the hang of it- good girl!
Suz, I love you. God has great plans for you. Although I sometime lose sight of it, I know that whatever He has planned for me is SOOOO much better than anything I can come up with. I know that's what you're learning. I'll be praying for you. Also, Brazil rocks!
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