Friday, August 17, 2007

The Time Has Come

Alas, my last week has arrived.
I am very surprised at all of the things I must do before I leave! the list seems to go on for days.
oh well.
I have been learning about life a lot lately it seems, but then, I guess if you are looking for ways to grow it is easy to see them. or something.
I spend an hour on the phone with C. Byrd a few nights ago and as we spoke I had some deep realizations of things. We talked mostly about being hurt by people and how to avoid that. I figured really in relationships you have two things you can do. 1. you can shut yourself off emotionally from people so that you protect yourself from being hurt by them or 2. you love them and forgive them where they are and you yourself live full of life no longer afraid of being hurt because you can love and forgive. I would much rather be the second one. I would much rather be alive and hurt sometimes (because no matter what, people will fail us), than be a person emotionally dead to the world. She was telling me how she didn't want to be hurt by anyone in the future, which I can understand because who likes to be hurt? but once again, there is no way to avoid that. there is pain in life. and that is that. I talked with her about Jesus some and how he must have been so hurt when one of his friends (Peter and Judas) who he had poured his life into for the past three years, ended up denying him and selling out. I can't imagine the pain. Like Sean says sometimes "man, if I were him, I would have called down lightening from the sky and nailed them!". anyway. I also realized again that without pain and stretching we don't grow. As I talked with C, words flowed out of my mouth that I didn't know where there. It was basically the coolest thing ever. She told me I should write a book. and I think maybe I will one day when I am 72. It seems like a good plan.
Anyway. I have resolved to live in a way that releases life to others and that forgives people where they are.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow Suz that's deep... I'm glad to hear that you're choosing that route. It's not an easy to decision to make or to follow up on. I've been challenged lately to pursue forgiveness in the same way with some people who influence me alot. It takes so much less commitment and energy to withdrawl (in the short run anyway).